The giant robot: he is my friend

It has come to the attention of me and my associates (well, me, anyways) that a certain girl with "shapely legs" is going to be the subject of this entry. Let's call her Mrs. Dalloway.

Usually I can set pen to keyboard and come up with something passable for this blog. (The IT guys at work keep saying "don't spill ink on your computer anymore, doofus!") However, I can't seem to come up with anything worthwhile to write about, so I'll meta-write about how when I think Mrs. Dalloway (or whoever) is expecting me to write something awesome, I can't do anything at all! Heck, I'm not even breathing right now!

In spite of you silly beasts, I'll continue breathing. Okay, so I've developed a capacity for caring less about what people think over the past year or so. This is in accordance with a certain resilient quality that I admire in some people; I call them "likeable jerks." I decided to skip the "likeable" part and go straight for "jerk," with mixed results. At any rate, I generally assume that if I turn off my usual over-concern for others, I'll be able to do better, which is best for them in the long run.

Now I have to decide: how do I put in the "likeable" part? Sometimes I make myself the sidekick of somebody who has a higher Charisma score than I do. (Wahaha!) Other times I duct-tape kittens to myself so that people who naturally like kittens will gravitate to me. But I think being likeable has a lot more to do with a) liking yourself b) sincerely seeing the good in others and c) strong cheek bones. Heck, I may as well add d)ability to do Dim Mak Death Touch and e) butter, lots of butter.

• Discuss what "likeable" means. Then what "jerk" means, only occasionally drifting to the meaning in "jerk chicken."
• Some other people have suggested that items such as "a grandfather clock" and "an electronic Japanese-English dictionary" are also helpful to likeability. Can you think of more?

Good night, everybody; enjoy the buffet.